Happy Birthday
by Inkspots123
Summary: . Random thing I wrote for a friend's birthday.


The insane Plot of RaNdOmNeSs!

One rainy day, Ed was walking in the rain, being emo because he s short.

Ed: I hate my life! x_x *continues trudging solemnly*

Al: *randomly pops up out a nearby bush, somehow in his human body* DON T BE SAD, BROTHER! *glomps*

Ed: *choking* T.T WHAT THE HECK?

Al: *stops glomping and watches in interest as Ed twitches in the mud on the ground* I think I broke him.

Ed: Al, how come you re in your real body? T.T

Al: Oh yeah! I traded something for it you know the laws of equivalent Eskimos!

Ed: Equivalent EXCHANGE! X.X *still twitching in mud* What did you trade, anyway?

Al: Err, yeah about that

-Winry randomly crashes in-

Winry: WHO STOLE MY WRENCH T.T

Ed: o.o Surely you weren t dumb enough to trade her wrench?

Al: ^.^; *flees*

Winry: AL! GET BACK HERE! *storms after Al, crushing Ed in the process*

Ed: x_x *lays unmovingly in the mud*

INSIDE A RANDOM BAKERY

Al: *runs in screaming as Winry fires a potato launcher after him* ZOMG IMMA DIE! *trips over Luigi and Sonic attempting to work an Easy-bake oven*

Luigi: BAKE LITTLE PIE, BAKE!

Sonic: *kicks oven* ITS NOT WORKING!

Luigi: *makes a rude hand gesture at the Easy-bake oven*

Al: *continues screaming and tripping over random chairs in the bakery as Winry chases him with a sledgehammer* I M TOO YOUNG AND HOT TO DIE!

BACK OUTSIDE

Nightcrawler: o.o *pokes Ed s unmoving figure with a stick*

Amy: o.o I think it died.

Ed: *randomly pops up, causing Amy and Nightcrawler to scream* I LIVE! *cackles maniacally and runs into the random bakery*

Amy: ZOMBIE! *bursts into hysterical tears*

Nightcrawler: o.o *stares after Ed*

2ND STORY OF THE BAKERY

Al: *runs up stairs, still screaming his head off, then slams door shut and tries in vain to keep Winry from kicking the door down*

-mysterious voice comes from across the room- Please try to keep it down. I m meditating.

Al: *does not bother to try and keep it down as Winry s hand bursts through the door and claws at the air* WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?

Zexion: I m Zexion. *hanging upside down from ceiling*

Al: O.O WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Zexion: As I said before, I m meditating. *calm voice*

Al: YOU RE FLOATING FROM THE CEILING?

Zexion: Your point is?

-floor suddenly explodes and they both fall-

1ST STORY OF THE BAKERY

Roy Mustang: *crawls in from a window* ITSSS RAINNIIIINNNNGGG

Sonic and Luigi: *both slamming the Easy-bake oven with Winry s abandoned potato launcher*

Ed: *walks in, calmly sipping tea* Well that s no way to do it. *takes out a flamethrower from his pocket (which somehow managed to fit in there)* Now watch and learn, kiddies. *starts slamming the flamethrower on the Easy-bake oven*

Sonic and Luigi: T.T; *anime sweat drop*

-The ceiling suddenly caves in and Al, Winry, and Zexion fall in-

Ed: Hello, dear brother. *sips tea* How are you?

Al: THERE .

Zexion: Pardon?

-Black portal opens and Light and Mello stroll in-

Light: Good evening.

Mello: How do you do?

Sonic: Who the heck are you?

Light: I m Light. *points to name tag which conveniently appears*

Mello: I m Mello. *also points to name tag*

Roy: IT S RAINING!

Al: T.T SHUT UP. *throws random rock at Roy, who hisses*

Winry: I LL KILL YOU!

Light: One of you stole my Deathnote. Now give it back or prepare to DIE!

Amy: *walks in, sighing* This story has gotten to calm. *picks up a grenade and throws randomly* MORE STUFF NEEDS TO BLOW UP!

Sonic: *cheers* ALL THE GOOD STORYS HAVE EXPLOSIVES INVOLVED!

Light: GIVE ME MY DIAR- I MEAN DEATHNOTE!

Ed: I DON T HAVE YOUR DEATHNOTE!

Roy: *hisses from corner*

Mello: OH CR-

-Grenade that Amy threw explodes and random screaming is heard-

BASEMENT OF BAKERY

Ink: *hears random screams and explosions from upstairs* Sounds like fun.

Blackpaw: Indeed.

Ink: *pulls out a bag of popcorn* Let s go watch.

Blackpaw: Agreed.

BACK UPSTAIRS

Ink and Black: *walks upstairs to find utter chaos*

Sonic: *has Luigi in a headlock* I TOLD YOU I DON T HAVE YOUR DEATHNOTE!

Luigi: *gasping for air* I DIDN T SAY THAT YOU DID!

Mello: *being sat on by Ed* HELP I M BEING MOLESTED!

Ed: What? I m not molesting you, I just wan-

Mello: RAPIST! *screams as he sees Nightcrawler eating his chocolate* HELP! I M BEING RAPED, AND WHAT S WORSE, SOMEONE S EATING MY CHOCOLATE!

Ed: -_- I M NOT RAPING YOU!

Roy Mustang and Axel: *both shivering in corner* It s raining .

Amy: *beating Light with her purse* I DON T HAVE YOUR DIARY!

Light: *huffs* DEATHNOTE!

Zexion: *boredly reading book as everyone fights around him*

Ink and Blackpaw: *munches popcorn and watches*

Ink: I KNOW WHAT THIS SCENE NEEDS! *presses a random button and Barney appears*

-Everyone stops what they re doing and gasps* NO! NOT BARNEY!

Barney: HEY KIDS! LET S SING A SONG!

Light: NOOOO! *grabs Amy and throws at the offensive purple dinosaur* SACRIFICE!

Amy: *screams*

Mello: I M BEING MOLESTED!

Ed: *kicks Mello and stands up* I M NOT MOLESTING YOU!

Winry: I LL KILL YOU, AL!

Al: *who was hiding in corner with Roy and Axel* NO!

Barney: Hey kids, let s all play nice!

Sonic: *stands up and walks away, leaving a dead Luigi behind*

Luigi: x_x *strangled to death*

Light: *pulls a crumpled Deathnote from pocket* Oh. I had it the whole time.

Mello: YOU MEAN I CAME HERE AND GOT MOLESTED AND RELIEVED OF MY CHOCOLATE FOR NOTHING? D:

Light: ^.^; Well

Al: *is tackled by Winry* NO! I M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! SAVE ME!

Winry: YOU RE GONNA DIEEEEEE!

Ed: o.o *whistles and walks over to Zexion* So, what book are you reading?

Roxas: *screams and runs in with only a towel on* SOMEONE TOOK ALL THE HOT WATER!

Barney: Hey! Keep the dressing appropriate!

Blackpaw: O_O I bet the fangirls would love to get a look at this.

Random fangirl: *randomly appears* HECK YES! *pulls out camera and starts snapping photos* BLACKMAIL!

Light: *stares at Winry, who is trying to kill Al with a piece of string* I hate annoying brats! *pulls out Deathnote* NOW YOU SHALL SEE THE POWER OF MY AWESOME DIA- I MEAN DEATHOTE.

Amy: *has died in the meanwhile* x_x

Nightcrawler: *passed out from eating too much chocolate* x_x

Barney: Hey kids! Let s have a lesson about alcohol now! *pulls out a bottle of vodka*

Mello: *sees vodka* MINNEEEE! *squeals and tries to snatch vodka from Barney*

Barney: Hey! This stuff is bad for you!

Light: Lets see That s Win Wendy? *puzzles over how to spell name in Deathnote* W-E-Q-N-Y? No, M-E-N-Q-Y?

Ed: o.o where d the Q come from?

Winry: IT S W-I-N-R-Y YOU IDIOT!

Light: Thank you. *scrawls down in Deatnote*

Winry: *suddenly convulses and goes limp*

Ink: *goes over and pokes with a stick* Yup, dead.

Al: *immediately freaks out* THERE S A DEAD BODY ON ME!

Roxas: I NEED SOME HOT WATER!

Mello: GIMME THAT VODKA!

Barney: =_= Take it. *throws bottle at Mello* I hate my job anyway. *takes out a cigarette and leaves*

Mello: SQUEEEE!

-Hannah Montana bursts in-

Hannah: YOU GOT THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!

Ink: X_X OHMYGOD. *ears bleed and passes out under table*

Blackpaw: *goes over and pokes* I think he died.

Mello: *hiccups* NONSENSE! *slams bottle of vodka on table, sloshing it around* SUCH TOMFOOLERY SHALL BE PUNISHED! NOW BRING ME MY BEST DRESS! THERE SHALL BE A PARTY TONIGHT!

Hannah: PARTY IN THE U.S.A!

Roy: *screams and lights part of the bakery on fire* IT S RAINING OH MY GOSH WE LL ALL MELT!

Axel: ROXY! *glomps Roxas, who is still only wearing a towel*

Roxas: OMG! PEDO! *sprays can of Rapist-B-gone on Axel*

Axel: x_x *withers*

Mello: *strips down to his boxers* YEEHAW! IMMA COWBOY! *tackle-glomps Light* GIVE ME A PIGGYBACK RIDE!

Zexion: *has been tied up and gagged in the meanwhile by Luxord* MMMFFF!

Luxord: *sips tea * NOW NOW, MY DEAR, DON T BE SO FOOLISH! *hiccups*

Al: *walks back in from where he mysteriously disappeared for a page or two* Man, I leave for two minutes and this is what happens?

Ed: DON T CALL ME SHORT! *slams an expensive lamp into Easy-bake oven* I LL SHOW YOU WHO S SHORT! *bursts into hysterical tears* I M I M NOT SHORT!

Sonic: o.o You know that you re talking to an Easy-bake oven?

Ed: T^T DON T JUDGE ME! *curls into the fetal position and starts sobbing*

Hannah: I CAN T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! Phew, I need backup! *primps hair and whips out cell phone*

Spongebob: *rushes in* THANK GOODNESS I MADE IT IN TIME! EVERYONE, THIS PLACE IS GOING TO BLOW UP IN TWO SECONDS!

-Everyone stares blankly at him as two seconds pass-

Spongebob: OH CRAP! THIS IS THE WRONG PLACE! *rushes out again as a huge explosion is heard from another bakery down the street*

Al: Why do they have two bakeries so close together?

Mello: *is making out with Luxord in a booth*

Zexion: MMMPPPHH O.O

Fangirl: OMG! *goes into yaoi fangirl mode* GET ME MY CAMERA!

Luxord and Mello: *still drunkenly making out*

Sonic: SORA!

Sora: *pops in from a hole in the wall* What?

Sonic: Oh, nothing. Just trying to see if my summoning calls work.

-Justin Beiber arrives-

Hannah: MY BACKUP IS HERE!

Justin Beiber: AND I SAID, BABY, BABY, BABY!

-Everyone passes out on ground, their ears bleeding, except for the yaoi couple and Light*

Light: *sings along*

Roy: *jumps up* NO! ZE EARPLUGS! ZEY DO NASSING! *screams in Russian accent*

Ink: T.T This madness has gone on long enough. *stands up*

Blackpaw: DX NOOOO! I was just starting to have fun T.T

Ink: Tough luck. *throws a nuclear bomb, blowing everyone and everything up* HAPPY FRICKEN BIRTHDAY, CHERRY! *blows up*


End file.
